Gratitude — such a beautiful word. But what does it actually mean, in real terms? If you're on a personal development journey, you've probably heard this word countless times.
I'd heard it a lot too — over and over — and I always thought «yeah yeah, say thank you, got it».
So I tried. I said thank you — but honestly, I had no idea why I was doing it. My «thank you» sounded like empty words. I didn't even know who I was saying it to.
I kept reading personal development books, and that word kept coming back: gratitude. But really — what are they on about with their gratitude? They want me to say thanks? For what, to whom, what's the point?
For years I'd been reading personal development books, trying to «develop myself». I was starting to roughly understand how to behave to succeed at what I undertook. I questioned myself often and made discoveries that helped me grow.
And then there are always those phases when things go well, and you think «yes, this is how I should do it — I've found the answer!» Motivation hits its peak.
For maybe a month, a week, sometimes 2 days... things go well. But it always comes back — that low point where something goes wrong, and you feel completely at the bottom.
You end up back at your starting state, in the pit, asking yourself:
What's wrong with me? Why can't I do this? Why do I feel so bad?
Of course, only those who ask themselves questions ever ask these questions.
There is no problem.
I understood it late — but better late than never.
In short, my path came down to this: I know how to get into the right state of mind to accomplish what I want in life — but the hardest part, the one I couldn't crack, was keeping that state of mind. That's what changes everything.
I kept falling back into my old patterns. I let the negative energy come back again and again, because I'd always left space for it.
My first real experience
So — silly as it sounds — I told myself one day that I'd actually try building a gratitude habit. What helped me at first was a book I'd read: «The Power of Your Subconscious Mind», which described a technique: repeat and feel «Thank you Father for my wealth».
I have to admit, it worked really well for me. It was a very prosperous time. I had this little habit — I'd take a few minutes to repeat it — and while I was doing it, I felt genuinely, deeply good (which is, by the way, the most important part).
I dropped it — but looking back, I realised it had been my first real experience of gratitude. And it had actually worked for me.
So I started again. Two weeks later, I had five or ten gratitude phrases where I used to have one. And I started really building this habit, with the help of a very simple but incredibly effective app.
It was a kind of journal where I'd write down, every day, what I was grateful for.
The transformation · 2 months
So for a month, I fill in this journal every single day. I told myself there weren't any big changes — but I liked this habit, as if I'd already made it mine.
Another month goes by. I'm still doing it every day.
I look behind me — and it's at this exact moment that I really see it. All those tiny things piling up.
I was now able to write for 10 minutes in my journal. I felt grateful all through my day, and things were just going well. I was doing it without really thinking — I was grateful every day, and I could see the universe giving me more joy than I could imagine.
So I felt even more thankfulness, even more gratitude. Realising how lucky I am, and realising it a little more each day. Things were flowing — and I, who could never hold on to my positive state — there I was, feeling genuinely good.
I'd just realised it had been 2 months of feeling this way.
And above all, I realised I'd never been better in my life than now. That state of unease didn't exist — it was an illusion I had let exist, that I'd left untouched, never fixing the problem at its root.
What now?
At first, for me, gratitude was just a vague word — meaningless, powerless. It was only by actually trying it that I got clarity.
Yes it's hard, especially if you start from a very low place. Why say thanks when I seem to have nothing, when everything's going sideways?
Truth is, I don't have miracle tricks to tell you how to start, how not to stop, how to practise it well. You have to want it.
Do you want to feel good? Do you really want to feel better in your life? Are you ready?
